Currently I am a TI (teaching intern) for one of my professors and part of my job is to hold review sessions for the students in the class. Basically all I do is go over what I feel are the most important issues of each chapter and what I think they should focus their studying on. It's really nothing special. But to some of the students, I am God.
All I have to do is mention the simplest fact and they will ask me to repeat it five times, word by word, extremely slowly, so that they can write it down. It should be noted that I am saying absolutely nothing new. Literally all I am saying is something that my professor mentioned in class. I find it to be quite entertaining because it's not as if I am giving them some sort of insider tip. All I'm doing is picking out random facts and testing their knowledge. Take for instance this exchange:
"Can anyone tell me what co-rumination is?"
*blank stares*
"Okay it's when two or more people, typically girls-"
"WAIT slow down! Who's it between?"
"err two or more people, usually girls, and what happens is they talk over and over-"
"What are they doing?"
"...talking over and over about what they are feeling. Generally it focuses on negative feelings-"
"What kinds of feelings?"
"Negative. It's considered to be a maladaptive strategy because- "
"Mala-what?!"
"daptive. Maladaptive strategy. It's a maladative strategy because it solves nothing and can possibly lead to feelings of depression and anxiety."
"What does it lead to?"
*sigh*
I've held two review sessions so far, and this one girl has gone to both of them. Each time she asks me first, if I've seen the test (no), and then whether I have my old tests to look at. Now as I explained at the first review session, he doesn't let you keep the test because he gives basically the same test each semester. By this time she should understand this, because she has already taken one of his tests. Does that stop her from asking me again today if I have my old tests? Of course not. Each time she looked severely disappointed. Poor her, actually going to have to study all of the information like everyone else.
The worst part of review sessions is when you don't know an answer to a question. I mean my professor told me not to worry about it, it's going to happen. However, clearly he is forgetting something. I'm God, remember? God knows all the answers.
The fact is though that I really haven't read through the book since last semester. I have better things to do with my time than re-learn every single detail of the book for a test I'm not taking. However this does not stop a group of review session students from completely turning on you. You can see it in their eyes. One minute you're the all knowing guru that can lead them to the path of eternal happiness (or an A), the next second your the saddest excuse for a human being that ever walked the planet. The good news it's easy to get back on their good side. Just mention another completely random fact they are unlikely to remember and they will start hastily writing down your every word once again. It's a powerful feeling having everyone write down everything you say like it's of the up-most importance.
Today, I had a bunch of questions up on the board of what I thought could be potential short-answer questions. I asked them to try and answer them from memory, because you know, that's what they will have to do on the test. Each time I would try to get them to answer something, but each time they would just stare blankly at me like they were suddenly on Jeopardy, but they realized they don't know anything so they have no chance of winning. So much for testing their knowledge. At the very least it should have been a lesson to them all on how much they don't know and how much they still need to study. I'm sure I will get blamed for their poor grades in my evaluation. "Her review sessions didn't help at all! I still did horrible on every test!" Of course, because my one hour of review is supposed to magically make you know everything.
One other lovely moment that I found particularly enjoyable:
"I have a question? What are the effects of the different parenting styles?"
*looks at board because I literally just wrote that down*
"Ummm everything that we just listed a little while ago."
"Yeah but on his review sheet he has the question, 'What are the developmental outcomes of each of the parenting styles?'"
"Yes. They're listed right here."
"So that's the answer to that question?"
"Well yes. Remember- (I then proceeded to go over what I literally just said). You got it?"
"Well yeah, but on his review sheet it says-"
Another Student: "Yes, that's what she just answered! Anyways, I have a different question."
It took a lot for me not to start laughing at that point. The girl looked both confused still and slightly angry that she was cut off. It was about ten minutes later that I saw the light bulb go off in her eyes. Better late than never I suppose.
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