Driving

Seeing as I just made a post about my lovely day trip to the DMV, I figured I should make a post about driving as well. I hate it. I really really hate it. I will find just about any reason to make sure I can get out of driving. Over the years I have become quite crafty at making people think it was their idea in the first place to drive. "It's so annoying how my mom parks in the driveway. I have no idea how I am going to get my car out." "Why don't I just drive? I'll come pick you up." "Oh that's a great idea! Carpooling is greener anyways. Thanks!"

Why do you hate driving so much you ask? Couple of reasons. For one thing, I believe my car is about as safe to drive as it would be to be driving around in a nuclear bomb. Random jolts and clingy noises are something I have grown accustomed to. It's okay though, my mechanic assures me that I am crazy and my brakes are fine. Clearly, I need to be going to a doctor instead of a mechanic because I have been imaging all those times my brakes don't quite work right. The AC doesn't work in my car either. Well technically it does work, but my mechanic also told me that "The pipe the AC uses is loose, so be warned that if you use your AC, you may hear an extremely loud BANG come from your engine. It's perfectly safe." Yes, from my experience loud bangs are always perfectly safe. I mean, what harm has ever been caused by something that creates a loud bang?

Also, I am terrible at directions. I've gotten lost going to places I have been going to my whole life. Literally, I have lived in the same house my entire life. The mall is only about ten minutes from my house. I got lost going there. I'm fairly certain squirrels have a better sense of direction than me. I mean, they always seem to remember which specific tree they hid their nuts under, but I can't remember how to get to a place I've been going to for 20 years.

Then there are other drivers. When you think about it, there are not that many safe drivers out there on the roads. First you have your old people. They can be so cute sitting in their little cars, barely able to see over the steering wheel. How could you deny them access to the road? The problem is that they assume since they have been driving for years, that they are perfect at it. Take for instance my Grandpa. He is by far one of the worst drivers I have ever seen. One time, he went straight through an intersection when he was in the left turn only lane. When I pointed this out to him he replied "Oh it's okay! I do that all the time!" Oh of course, I had forgotten that once you've been driving for over 30 years, you no longer need to obey all of the traffic laws, only some of them. He also backed into a mail truck one time. He had to pay big time for that one since it's a federal offense or something. His excuse was, "It wasn't there when I started backing out! It must have zoomed in behind me!" Has anyone ever seen a mail truck "zoom" anywhere? I'm fairly certain small children on bikes go faster than mail trucks in residential areas.

The worst are young guy drivers. You know who I'm talking about. Mr. Cool who puts his left arm on the door as he leans away from the steering wheel with a posture that reads "I just don't give a ****" It's the kind of stupidity that one can only dream of attaining in life. It takes years to perfect the slouch and slightly vacant expression that looks like someone just beat the side of their face with a bat. Unfortunately no one has actually beaten them with a bat. They only look as if someone has. I've never really understood what it means to be cool, but what I have gathered thus far is that you just need to look super pissed off all of the time. I'd try it someday but blah. Way too normal.

On my ipod today: "Point/Counterpoint" by Streetlight Mainfesto. You gotta love Streetlight! No really, you need to love them if you want to continue reading my blog because I freaking love them.

DMV

I had to go to the DMV today to make sure they updated my license in time for when I turn 21 next month. Anyone who has ever been to the DMV before knows that is always one of the best experiences of your day because the DMV has always been known for their extremely friendly service, efficiency, and organization!

Well of course anyone who has actually ever been to a DMV knows this is never the case, and of course my experience was no different. I smiled politely to the grouchy middle aged women who shouted "NEXT" to me even though I had already started walking up to the counter. She shoved a bunch of papers in my face and told me to sign in different areas, which I did. Then she told me to "Stand over there!" which I did because everyone knows not to mess with a middle aged women who can shout like a man. They are on the same par of intimidation as a seriously pissed off cat. In other words, you just do what they say.

So I stood where she told me, and then she shouted "SMILE" and immediately I smiled as if someone was holding a gun to my head. It was the hugest, most strained smile I have ever made. It wasn't even a voluntary action. Something in my brain noted that I was being yelled at my body simply reacted in a way to correct the situation. Next thing I know, she's showing me a screen with my (horrible) picture on it and asking me if it was good. Did you know that they retake your picture for your new license when you turn 21? I didn't, but I sure know now!

Now anyone who knows me, knows that I can't say no. To anything or anyone. I have this automatic "yes" that simply pops out no matter what my true feelings are. Needless to say, I now get to enjoy years on end of a terrible drivers licenses picture! Most people look forward to when their new license comes in the mail, but I'm just praying the picture is small enough that you can't really tell how awkward a smile I have.

After this the lady shoved a piece of paper with a number on it and told me they would be with me shortly. I was really confused because I thought I was done with everything, but of course I wasn't going to ask her what she meant. I prefer my head nonbitten off. It's worked quite well for me so far. I mean, what if she was menopausal? My chances of survival after asking her a question would be even less then. I wasn't willing to take the risk.

I then proceeded to walk off in a confused state looking around like a lost tourist. Luckily, I figured out that my piece of paper with a number on it was meant to tell me what place I was in line. My excitement increased at the thought of meeting with another grouchy middle aged women. I mean why not, my first experience had gone so well!

I waited a half an hour before I got up to the counter. The lady working there, without looking at me, told me "That will be $63.50." Beautiful. I waited a half an hour to pay for my new license with my new terrible picture. At least I will be constantly reminded of this day whenever I look at my license. One of those simple joys in life.

Lesson to you all: Going to the DMV is never a simple task, but it always gives you a good story to tell.

On my ipod today: "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves. It was 80 degrees out today! In October!

Running

There is one part of my life that I have yet to tell you all about. I love to run. Not that I am in any way particularly good at it, but I I just need to run everyday or else I go slightly crazy. Take today for instance. I wasn't able to go out for a run because I was so busy, and now I am paying the price. I should be exhausted from the day's travels of endless meetings and attempting to learn something in classes and whatnot. Instead I am sitting here thinking about how I didn't get to go out on a run today and how I wish I could run now and how maybe I can go for a longer run tomorrow and ahhhhh! 

For those of you that are not as into the running scene, I have to explain something. Once you get into good running shape, it's like a drug. You have to get your fix everyday or else you obsess about it. When you're not running, you're thinking about running and planning the next time that you can run. It really never ends.

Now don't get the wrong idea. I'm no track star here, and frankly I never will be. Honestly, sometimes I'm a little unnerved at how little I pay attention to the world while I am running. I ran straight into a tree once. I couldn't even tell you whether or not it was a painful experience because I was so dazed and confused at my sudden not running state that I couldn't even process what was going on. It was just running WHAM not running.

I supposed today will be short because I can't seem to focus on my writing, ironically because I didn't run today.

On my ipod: "All For You" by Sister Hazel. If a guy ever played this song and then told me it made him think of me, I would marry him right on the spot. And I'm not even planning on marrying anyone ever. But we'll save that for another blog.

Cooking

I'll be the first to admit it. I can't cook. And it sucks. Everyone expects a girl to be naturally endowed with these magical cooking abilities. It seems to be some residual feelings left over from the 50's where a girl's right of passage in life was learning how to make her mother's meatloaf. I once made brownies for my now ex boyfriend and he couldn't stop talking about how amazing they were for weeks. Best brownies he had ever had. His girlfriend could cook! It was a box mix. I didn't even put that much effort into ensuring that the batter was fully mixed.

I have to have it brought to my attention that I can't cook far more often than normal people because I am also a vegetarian. For some odd reason that I can't understand, people always end up asking you what you eat if you are a vegetarian. I'll give you guys all a hint- it doesn't include meat. 

I have no idea what they are expecting me to answer, but every time I just shyly try to avoid the fact that I can't really cook much of anything for myself. Most of the time I give up trying to make something that looks like it could be featured on the foodnetwork and I end up making a sandwich, a salad, or frozen lean cuisine meal. This must be the wrong answer to give, because then I always get the blank stare from them that seems to say "A vegetarian that can't cook? She must be severely malnourished."

I'm not fyi. Vegetarian for one year, 8 months, and I haven't died yet!

It's not that I haven't tried. Err cooking that is, not dying. I think I just lack the patience. I watch people do all of this fancy stuff with oil and adding different ingredients at different times and I always wonder how they know what to do so well. People that know how to cook get into this zen like state in which the seem to be getting directions directly from some higher power cooking God that tells them when to take things out of the oven, or when the heat is on too high.  Silly me does the age old "It looks done," technique that without fail ensures that your meal comes out over done or undercooked. In all reality, I can't even cook eggs properly. They stick, they burn, they break. It's a mess every time. And the worst part of it is that making eggs in usually the example people give when comparing how easy something is to make. "It's as easy as making eggs!" Great, I'm doomed.

So yes, I am a vegetarian, I am a girl, and no, I cannot cook. I know what you are thinking, how very unnormal.

On my ipod today:"Love Will Find You" by Storyhill. Such a happy song! Unless you have just gotten out of a long term relationship in which case this is quite possibly the most hideous excuse for music because it sounds like hungry cats screeching in your ears. One of the two.

Group Projects

At last! I have finally achieved the seemingly impossible. I have managed to have group members that are actually willing to pull their weight on a group project. I know what you are thinking -there is no way such a thing can exist! It's blasphemy! Well I am here to give you hope (or to totally shatter your current perception of reality) by telling you that it is in fact possible to have group members that are willing to do things.

You would not even believe my rotten luck in group projects. Really, it had gotten to the point where I had become completely convinced that a "good group" was on the same mythical level as the Lochness Monster or a romantic comedy that doesn't want to make you vomit in your mouth at some point. It simply just does not exist.

A chart that best describes my feelings towards group projects.

My bad group members are innumerable. Biology lab partners? Couldn't so much as add, so naturally I had to "help out" a little more than them. And when I say "help out," I mean it was mutually understood that I had to do all of the work because even though they were all born and raised in America, they all had a minimal knowledge of English and math skills (or perhaps it is because they were born in American they had minimal knowledge of English and math skills...) My French class was just as useless. On the days that they actually decided to show up to our meetings, it was more telling me what they think I should do for the project and then they left. At least they always smiled about it. I mean it's one thing to leave a person to do all of the work. It is another thing to leave a person to do all of the work with a smile on your face! It totally cancelled out their being ummm a not nice word...

I could bring up more stories, (yes, these are not my only two terrible groups I have had) but my blog is not meant to be a depressing chain of of other peoples failures in life. That would be far to easy to notice, and just about anyone can comment on that. No, I am here to tell you what goes on in my life that is unnormal. And here it is. I found a group that wants to meet and actually work.

The Class- unimportant

The Project- insigificant

The Group Members- Surprisingly enough, not really that important either.

The Most Shocking Thing Ever- They showed up. They worked. Yes that's it really, but apparently these are very difficult tasks to ask of the average person.

That's all I really have to say about my group that actually does things, because really things are just going how they are supposed to. It's actually a little unnerving. I am quite unused to it.

On my ipod today- "Barbeque" by ALO. It is simultaneously one of the most depressing and uplifting songs you will ever hear. Stay unnormal!