Food Eating Contest

Today I witness the pride of my college duke it out for fame and glory. No, not a battle of wits, but rather a food eating contest. I can't think of something that is more college like than a contest where the goal is to eat a ton of food as fast as you can. Those guys (and two girls) will go on to do great things for this country.

For today's epic battle, teams of four had to consume four pizzas and two garbage plates between the group members. Whoever consumed this obscene amount of food first won a free T-Shirt and a 5 dollar coupon to the local pizza place. More importantly, the winning team got to get their picture taken so that it could be forever demonstrated who at our college could shove massive amounts of food down their throats fastest. I'm sure all of their moms will want a copy as well. They must be so proud.

Unfortunately, I was not able to able to partake in food gorging with my being a vegetarian and lacking other group members willing to go up a pant size for the greater good. It was alright though because I got to witness the event, which I think was far more entertaining.

All of the teams started out with the same enthusiasm and apparent optimism that they could win. It was clear early on though that some teams just didn't have what it takes. For instance, there was a team which was using a knife and fork in order to consume their garbage plates. This would have been fine in any normal setting. However under the circumstances, it put them at a real disadvantage. Take for instance the innovative team that decided if would be a good idea to pick up the mac and cheese with their bear hands, mush it into a compact ball, and then shove it into their mouth. Pure genius. Not only was this more efficient, but they also had to consume less because half of the cheese stuck to their hands. It was truly something special to witness.

In actuality this display actually made me quite nauseous. I found however that I couldn't look away from them. Even more, they kept making loud grunting noises. I can only conclude based on this that because of the pressure of competition they defaulted back to a more primitive and animalistic form of themselves. That, or they were stupid college boys. You know, either or.

On my ipod today: "Tickle Me Pink" by Johnny Flynn. I only found this song a few days ago, but I am completely obssessed. I foresee myself overplaying this song over the next few days.

E-Mail

There is no better way to constructively waste time than to compulsively check your e-mail every 5 minutes. Page of your textbook particularly boring? Check your e-mail. Can't figure out the answer to question 7? Check your e-mail. Want to stop procrastinating, but can't? Check your e-mail.

I always freak out a bit when I go to write an e-mail to one of my professors. I'm never quite sure on the level of formality required. Do I start with "Dear" or is that too old school, snail mail sounding? Does he prefer Doctor or Professor? Do I bullet the questions I have, or does that seem to casual or demanding? Then there is ending the e-mail. I always end with "Thank you for your time" with my name and e-mail underneath, but I can't help but feel like its a bit pretentious to just assume he is going to read and answer my e-mail. 

Usually just to be safe I ask all e-mails in the same overly formal format:

Dear Doctor (name I had to look up to make sure I spell it right),

        I am in your (look up exact title of) class and I was wondering if you would be willing to answer a few questions I had? First, (here I put a question that I thought a really long time about how to ask to make sure that I don't come off as sounding really dumb)? Also (another question that took me 10 minutes to form)? Thank you so much for your time,

Name

e-mail address

The problem is that I find that professors respond with things such as this:

Really short, unhelpful line about something I already knew.

Doctor Hates Answering E-mails

Well as I said in class, I'm going to make you feel really horrible about yourself despite your best effort to try and sound intelligent.  My answer will read as if I'm shouting "duh!" into your face and this will subsequently cause you to never want to e-mail me again. I will end with a "I hope this helps" to try and lighten the tone of the e-mail, but it's too late. The damage has been done.

Professor What is it that is Confusing You?

Unfortunately I'm answering this e-mail after the test or paper has already been completed, but I will answer your question anyway because I feel bad that I forgot to respond. My answer actually would have been extremely insightful and helpful for you, but now it only makes you angery.

Doctor Typical Professor

~just flat out never responds~

Notice how none of them ever start with a "Dear" or end in anything other than just their name. This is where I struggle because what if I want to e-mail them again? Do I start with dear or not? I have to e-mail the professor I am a TI for a lot for different reasons, and he always answers in one or two words, which makes me feel like he is really bothered by e-mails, yet he is always telling me that I can always e-mail him. I once e-mailed him to tell him that I didn't have the papers he thought I had and all he replied with was "Message Confirmed." I had no idea what I was supposed to respond with after this. I just went with not saying anything.

People who have noticed my glasses: 1 and a half (my roommate prompted a friend to comment on them)

On my ipod today: "I'm so Lucky Lucky" by Lucky Twice. The song is absolutely ridiculous, but super catchy and fun. My roommate has been playing it all week so naturally it has been in my head for a while.

Taking Notes

I've learned one thing over the many years I have had taking notes. I am either really paying attention to class, or am I really not. There is no in between for me. This is best reflected in my notes by the percentage of doodling that takes over my notebook for each particular day. I figured this would best be shown in picture form so here a picture of  my notes:

 The top notes are from my English class, the bottom are from my Child Psych Class.

As you can see, I don't just doodle random things. I put a lot of effort into my not paying attention to lecture.  I don't just draw hearts, I have to shade them and make sure they fully take my attention away from the professor. If you're going to doodle, you've got to do it right. Please note the stick figures in the top picture. I enjoy making my stick figures do things like roundhouse kick each other, climb up the lines on the page, sit on the lines of the page, ect. I mean stick figures don't have a lot going for them, so why not at least make them do something?

There is probably one other thing you've noticed about my notes. I have guy handwriting. I'm not ashamed of many things in my life, but my handwriting is one of them. I'm not sure when it was in elementary school where I missed the lesson on how to write like a girl, but somewhere along the line I got chicken scratches instead of bubble letters. Maybe I was putting too much effort into my doodling and not paying enough attention to the teacher. Suddenly it all makes sense...

The worst part about doodling is that once I start, I can't stop. I have no self-control. I can't just make one heart, I need to fill all of the extra space in with hearts. It gets to be a problem when I hear the professor saying something important, and I know I should start taking notes again, but I just can't. The page hasn't been consumed by hearts yet! There is still so much white space! 

My doodling of hearts is not limited to taking notes however. At my old job we used to have to label all of our products with the date that they will expire. It meant I was wring on things a lot since we usually went through product so fast. At the time I was working with all guys so I figured the store needed a feminine touch. I started to add hearts onto everything. Since some of the guys were extra testosterone induced macho male types, naturally this upset them. 

Unfortunately for them, this only caused me to add more hearts around the store. It was just too funny to watch them pick up something like a block of cheese to have them go, "Ugh another freaking heart! What is going on in this store!?" At this point I would put on a really sad pathetic face and say something like, "You don't like them?" perhaps adding a slight lip quiver. This put them in a real bind because on the one hand, they didn't want to upset the only girl. Guys will do just about anything to avoid having a girl cry. On the other hand, in order to make me not upset, he would have to admit he didn't mind the hearts. The slightly more evil part in me found it very entertaining to watch the guys inner struggle with what to do. They always caved and said they liked the hearts of course.

On my ipod today: "I Want to Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles. The Beatles are that staple music source that you can always depend on. Always great without fail.

Breathing

Well by a very thrilling poll demand, breathing won out by only one point! ...out of three votes. But who's counting, eh? You all wanted a post about breathing, so you got it.

There are certain situations in my life where I am acutely aware of my breathing. Here is everything I can think of:

The Dentist: I'm not sure if it's because I'm forced to sit there with my mouth gaping open while I stare at an off white wall, or if I have an irrational fear that my breath smells despite the fact that I brushed my teeth three times already, but I am always extremely aware of my breathing when I'm getting my teeth cleaned. Can they feel my breath on their hand? Am I breathing too heavy? As soon as I start to think these things, I try to slow my breathing down to a "normal" level that barely keeps me conscious. So as you can see, going to the dentist is bad for my health and I should stop going.
 

Playing Hide-And-Go-Seek: How is it that you can go from not noticing your breathing at all, to it suddenly sounding like the reeving of a starting lawnmower. I know it makes no sense, but every time I completely convince myself that they are going to find me because I sound like a person who just started breathing after nearly being drowned to death. 

Running: It doesn't happen often, but on some occasions when I am running with other people who are breathing really loudly I feel weird about the fact that I'm not out of breath. This usually happens in the beginning of the run. I start thinking things like, "Should I try to breath heavier, so they don't feel bad? Why I am not breathing as loud as they are, they are like twice as fast as me! Oh God, what if there is something wrong with me and I'm not getting enough oxygen to my muscles!" I can manage to scare myself into anything I think.
 

Sleeping: More specifically, trying to fall asleep with someone else in the room that I have never fallen asleep in front of before. I'm already aware of the fact that I am not the most eloquent of sleepers. I sleep with my mouth wide open and I snore like a middle aged man with nasal issues. Therefore, I don't need to add any other embarrassments to my sleeping pattern than are necessary. So when I'm trying to fall asleep I try to breath as softly as possible, knowing what I'm forcing the other person to endure when I actually fall asleep. 

Taking a Particularly Hard Test: We've all had those tests where everyone in the room is partially into the test, then you can feel the shift in the atmosphere as people start realizing it's a freaking hard test. It's during these tests that I am super aware of my breathing because it doesn't take much to anger people. The person that coughed in the back of the room got so much hate stare, I'm not sure how they can go back to the test knowing their shame. There is no way I am risking breathing heavily.

Tally of number of people who have noticed my new glasses: 1

On my ipod today: "Send Me On My Way" by Rusted Root. Good pick me up song if you ever need one.

Job Interviews

You know the slight issues I have with public speaking? Well these issues also carry over into job interviews. I think it's the whole idea of being judged by everything I say, do, wear, move, breath ect. It's like going on a date. You spend a certain amount of time judging each other, deciding whether or not you want to spend time with each other again in the future. I feel like all of my flaws are suddenly completely exposed. I deal with this by trying to display my positive features, but this never works out well. "Did you know I have a vast knowledge about the FoodNetwork channel. I can't cook, but I can tell you how to! I can also hum the tune of Mario almost completely accurately. Why wouldn't you want to go on another date with me?!"

Job interviews are much the same. I feel like every question has some sort of hidden contextual meaning behind it, so even the simplest of questions involve me over thinking the response. For example, I had a job interview today for a local pizza place. I think he liked me despite a few weird exchanges that occurred between us that were mostly my fault (fine, completely my fault).

"So why don't you work at Dunkin Donuts anymore?"

"Well the hours weren't that great. I mean I'm willing to any hours, but their hours were bad. I had to get up really early and that doesn't really work well for a college campus because everyone is up late on the weekends, not that I'm out late on the weekends, but most people are and they can be very loud so it was hard for me to get sleep and I would end up being tired all of the time. Not because I was out late because I don't really stay out late, but because everyone else was up and loud and I could never sleep."

"Right..."

"So would you say that you can keep yourself occupied during times when it's not as busy?"

"Absolutely, I had to do that all of the time at Dunkin. I mean a lot of the time I was there in the morning so it was really busy then and so I'm used to the pressure of having to deal with a lot of people at one time, but every once in a while it would slow down and I would have to find something else to do. Most of the time in these cases I would clean because I worked with mainly guys. Not that guys can't be clean, but the guys I worked with weren't very clean. Not that I had a problem with this, I always get along with my coworkers, I just had to clean more than them because they weren't very good at it. It wasn't a problem though, I love cleaning! I was glad they were bad at it, because it meant I could clean more! Err does that answer your question?"

"I see that you are a junior. Would you be willing to work next year also?"

"Oh yes! Actually that was what I was hoping for, a job that I could have both this year and next. I mean if you're okay with that, but if you only need someone for this year I would understand. But I am willing to work both years if you want that. Either way, it's fine really. I mean I would prefer to work both years because that would be very convenient, but really, I am fine either way."

"I expect after school, this job to be your second priority. Would that be a problem?"

"Not at all! I really don't do much outside of school anyways!"

Great, you made yourself sound like an anti-social freak. Definitely not what I was going for.

I think I could have answered these questions a bit more normally if I was able to relax a bit more. But since when did I ever do anything normally?

On my ipod today: "Monster" by Lady Gaga. It's Halloween and therefore I must have a song by the very singer who treats everyday like it's Halloween. I'm a proud little monster!

Writing Papers

As a former English major, I find there is a certain style that each person comes to have when they go to write a paper. Some write a little bit at a time, others write basically the entire paper the night before. For me, I have to take basically an entire weekend where I focus on nothing but my paper until it is completed. Oh, and I usually start this process about two or three weeks before it's due.

I do this for a couple of reasons. For one thing, I edit. A lot. I'm never extremely happy when I am handing a paper in. There is always something that can be tweaked or changed. Usually I just have to get to a point where I say to myself, "Stop it. You're being ridiculous. Print the paper out and move on with your life." Of course this never really works, but it would be so nice if I could actually start listening to myself for once.

I also need to start the paper way before it's due because I always get all nervous for papers that I won't have enough time to write them. I'm not sure why I get like this, because I can actually organize and write my thoughts out fairly quickly. I think what happens is that the thought of a looming paper will just sit in the back of my mind and whenever I go to do anything that is not work related I have a little voice inside of my head that says things to me like, "What kind of a sorry excuse for a person watches a movie when you have a paper due in three weeks? How can you afford the time to make yourself breakfast when you have that paper to write!? Why are you taking so long to shower when you have a paper to write!? You're wasting water AND time!" Eventually it gets to the point where I can't take it anymore and I will put off all other homework until my paper is written.

My process for actually writing papers is interesting:

First Sit Down to Write Paper: Okay. I've got this. Going to write a paper. It's going to be awesome. Worth 10% of my grade so I have to put some effort into this. Just think, once you're done with this it will be out of your head forever!

Hour Later: Hmmm. That hour long break I took to try and get rid of my writers block didn't really help. I still have nothing written.

Hour Later: Phew! Introduction, DONE. Only took me an hour to write five sentences. At this rate I'll be done by...oh jeeze.

Hour Later: Wow I totally just whipped those 2 pages out like nothing! I bet I can finish this today. I have so many ideas, so many places I can take this paper.

30 Minutes Later: Shit, I've ran out of things to say. Well maybe another break will help.

Hour Later: Do taking breaks ever really help or is it just something people say to put off writing anything more? Because I just spent the last hour looking at videos of cats, but I have gained no new insight on the topic I'm supposed to be writing about. Well, I guess it's that time in the writing process where you have to start making things up in order to meet the page requirement.
 

Hour Later: There is no way I can keep anything of what I just wrote. I'm fairly certain my cat could come up with something more intelligent sounding by randomly stepping on the keyboard. But I don't really feel like writing another two pages so maybe I'll just reword what I already have some other day. Future me problem.

Hour Later: Why do they always make the conclusion sound like the easiest part to write? It is most certainly not! I have no idea what to write. Rephrase what I already said? Seems so silly because I literally just talked about it on the page before. Oh well, I doubt the professor even reads the conclusions anyways.

So you see why editing is usually a bigger deal for me than most. My attitude of "meh whatever, I'll fix it later" always comes back to bite me in the butt. Of course I perfectly aware that I am doing this. Does that stop me from doing this every time I go to write a paper? Of course not. It would be amazing all the things I could accomplish in my life if I actually listen to what I try and tell myself.

And this made me crack up: Funny Video

On my ipod today: "Superman" by Goldfinger. The lyrics are far from poetic, but the beat is happy and the sun was out today so who cares?