E-Mail

There is no better way to constructively waste time than to compulsively check your e-mail every 5 minutes. Page of your textbook particularly boring? Check your e-mail. Can't figure out the answer to question 7? Check your e-mail. Want to stop procrastinating, but can't? Check your e-mail.

I always freak out a bit when I go to write an e-mail to one of my professors. I'm never quite sure on the level of formality required. Do I start with "Dear" or is that too old school, snail mail sounding? Does he prefer Doctor or Professor? Do I bullet the questions I have, or does that seem to casual or demanding? Then there is ending the e-mail. I always end with "Thank you for your time" with my name and e-mail underneath, but I can't help but feel like its a bit pretentious to just assume he is going to read and answer my e-mail. 

Usually just to be safe I ask all e-mails in the same overly formal format:

Dear Doctor (name I had to look up to make sure I spell it right),

        I am in your (look up exact title of) class and I was wondering if you would be willing to answer a few questions I had? First, (here I put a question that I thought a really long time about how to ask to make sure that I don't come off as sounding really dumb)? Also (another question that took me 10 minutes to form)? Thank you so much for your time,

Name

e-mail address

The problem is that I find that professors respond with things such as this:

Really short, unhelpful line about something I already knew.

Doctor Hates Answering E-mails

Well as I said in class, I'm going to make you feel really horrible about yourself despite your best effort to try and sound intelligent.  My answer will read as if I'm shouting "duh!" into your face and this will subsequently cause you to never want to e-mail me again. I will end with a "I hope this helps" to try and lighten the tone of the e-mail, but it's too late. The damage has been done.

Professor What is it that is Confusing You?

Unfortunately I'm answering this e-mail after the test or paper has already been completed, but I will answer your question anyway because I feel bad that I forgot to respond. My answer actually would have been extremely insightful and helpful for you, but now it only makes you angery.

Doctor Typical Professor

~just flat out never responds~

Notice how none of them ever start with a "Dear" or end in anything other than just their name. This is where I struggle because what if I want to e-mail them again? Do I start with dear or not? I have to e-mail the professor I am a TI for a lot for different reasons, and he always answers in one or two words, which makes me feel like he is really bothered by e-mails, yet he is always telling me that I can always e-mail him. I once e-mailed him to tell him that I didn't have the papers he thought I had and all he replied with was "Message Confirmed." I had no idea what I was supposed to respond with after this. I just went with not saying anything.

People who have noticed my glasses: 1 and a half (my roommate prompted a friend to comment on them)

On my ipod today: "I'm so Lucky Lucky" by Lucky Twice. The song is absolutely ridiculous, but super catchy and fun. My roommate has been playing it all week so naturally it has been in my head for a while.