Romantic Comedies

Don't say you didn't see this coming. And to the girl community: I'm sorry, alright? I tried. I tried really really hard to like them. You don't know the number of sleepovers I have been to where I tried to giggle along with the other girls while watching a romantic comedy. I can't help it, my giggles always inevitably turn into gagging. But I figured it's only fair I write why these movies deserve to burn and then be ceremoniously stomped on. You think that's a bit much? You've never really paid attention to a romantic comedy then.

Warning: To those of you who, for some reason that will never be known by me, actually like romantic comedies, you may not like this post. Feel free to criticize in the comment box. You won't change my mind, but I'm sure it will make you feel better.

The Leading Girl

I'm sorry, but it has to be said. Tall. Skinny. Blonde. I mean really, think back to all of the romantic comedies you've watched, 90% of the leading girls fits this criteria. The girls that don't are labeled ugly and nerdy by their peers and thus rejected. Even a lot of the blonde leads still are labeled "ugly" even though they are clearly drop dead gorgeous. "I'm just not as pretty as the popular girls." Please, go dig a hole and live in it so I don't have to listen to you whine any more. 

Most of the time the girl is shy or for some other weird reason has been unable to date. It isn't until Mr. Whatever comes along that she is saved from her formerly meaningless life. I guess that is one thing Hollywood got right. These girl's lives are meaningless. Why it is considered enjoyable to watch girls who just sit and get all weepy eyed about how difficult it is to find love, I will never know. No shit it's hard, you think you're the first person to notice this? Go back and read every play ever written in the planet of ever. Your problem is far from original. But please, continue to sit around complaining about this to your friends or your diary or what have you. I'm sure that will help.

The Leading Guy

Thank god for love, because it seems to save so many guys from being total jerks for the rest of their life. I mean really, it's like he going along in his life, not giving a you know what about anyone or anything, and then all of the sudden WHAM he falls in love and he changes all of his ways. Idiot? Now the hopeless romantic. Loner? Now can't imagine being alone. In real life it's more like: Idiot? Idiot. 

The Plot

My favorite plots are those where the girl dramatically has to chose between two guys. How hard that must be. You know we should give her some sort of award for being able to get up and keep going each day just knowing the stress she is forced to endure. Some people just never catch a break in life.

The worst part about every romantic comedy is how you know exactly what is going to happen before the movie is even going to start. She's going to fall in love with the best friend. They're going to kiss now. Uh oh, their fighting. Gee, I wonder if they will make up? The suspense is literally killing me. Literally. Killing me.

The ending really annoys me. It's as if all of their life's problems suddenly disappeared, just because they found true love. News flash: relationships continue to be difficult even after you decide to be in one. People move on, change, want different things in life. Oh man, did I just bash the entire foundation of every romantic comedy ever? opps.

This is actually only the tip of the iceberg, but I think I mentioned the main points. Sorry if I just made any of you cry or hate me. Well actually not really. Romantic comedies are so far detached from real life that you really shouldn't be that emotionally attached to them anyways.

So in conclusion I think I'll stick to my sci-fi, thrillers, and action movies thank you very much. Far less whining, with the awesome possibility of something blowing up. You hardly ever see something blow up in a romantic comedy. Although I wouldn't mind seeing some of the characters suddenly blow up in the middle of their overly dramatic love confession scenes. Now THAT would be something worth seeing.

On my ipod today: "This Is For Real" by Motion City Soundtrack. I was slightly obsessed with this song when it first came out. The whole CD is great actually.