Monday, October 17, 2011

Eye Doctors Part I

I've had the same pair of glasses for about 5 or six years now. They've served me well though this time, but I guess this summer was just too much for them. While volunteering at a camp one of the kids through a dodge ball at my head and my poor glasses have not sat on my face right since then. I worried that when I eventually do get a new pair, the action of pushing my glasses back up will have come so second nature to me that I will continue to try and push my new glasses up, even though they won't need to be. Well, I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

Anyways, a few weeks ago I got the tiniest of scratches on one of my lenses. Anyone who has ever worn glasses knows that a tiny scratch on a lens = 40% of your visual area once you actually put your glasses back on. Did I mention that the scratch is directly in the middle also? Needless to say my endless putting off of getting new glasses had to end. My current pair is failing at the two basic functions of glasses: Staying on my face and helping me to see.

So I called my mom and asked her whether I was due for an eye doctor exam, and she told me she would call and set up an appointment for me. Later that day she told me I could go in at 2:30, Monday the 17th.

Now my mom has a habit of mistyping, mishearing, misunderstanding, mis-anything else that could cause some more annoyance in my life. So a few days later I made sure to verify the date and time with her. I've learned from experience that you have to phrase these things in a way that makes it sound like your fault. If I just said "Are you sure it's Monday at 2:30?" she would have gotten mad that I didn't trust her. So instead I said, "I completely forgot, when is my eye doctors appointment again?" That way I could compare the two dates and times to make sure that they were indeed the same. 

My mom thought it would be best if she, my sister, and me all went that day to get our eyes checked. So today (Monday, 17th) I drove back home after my classes to meet up with them to get our eyes checked. When we got there only the man that helps you pick out your glasses was there, so we started to look at the different glasses out of boredom. 

It should be known that I am basically blind without my glasses. This always makes picking out glasses interesting. Every 5 seconds my mom would ask "What about these?" and I would (not really) patiently tell her I couldn't see them. She could have been holding up small rodents in her hand for all I knew. So then she would hand them to me and I would press my nose against the mirror trying to see this new pair. By the time I actually started to see what the pair looked like, my mom would once again ask "What about these?" and the whole process would start again. In a sitcom there would be a laugh track that played every time she asked me, but in real life it was just incredibly annoying.

After a while I got tired of trying on glasses and I figured I would make my final decision after my eye exam. At this point my mom casually asked the man helping us look at glasses if the eye doctor was running late, to which he replied "Oh he only works every other Monday. He's not coming in today."

Well I must have made quite the face because at this point both the man and my mom just stared at me for a few seconds. I couldn't believe it. Firstly, my mom mixed up the date of something...again. I even did my tricky method of making sure she had the right date! Man, I thought that method was fool proof. Now I need a new method.

Secondly, why on Earth did the man let us walk around trying on glasses randomly for almost a half an hour without asking us why we were there if there was no eye doctor coming in?  Nobody had any appointments that day, so there should have been so sort of bell that went off in his head that said maybe something was wrong. Instead, he politely chatted with us the entire time, acting as if it were completely normal for a family to spend their afternoon randomly trying on glasses that they can't actually purchase that day. Let me tell you, on my list of things I want to do with my afternoons, randomly trying on glasses is below many things. Admittedly it may still be above watching a romantic comedy though. It's hard to tell, both waste so much time and completely annoy me. At least trying on glasses doesn't make me physically ill though.

So you see this is Eye Doctor Part 1 because I have to once again drive back home next week for an actual appointment. Knowing how everything in my life is so unnomal, I'm sure Part 2 will be just as interesting. 

On my ipod today: "Grow A Pear" by Ke$ha. After today I need a good laugh, and this song cracks me up every time. It's just so ridiculous. Look up the lyrics, you'll see what I mean.

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