Being Polite: Part One

There are several times in my life where social obligations make it necessary for me to be polite to people, despite their complete stupidity. In reality I have to say things like, "I'm so sorry," when really the person needs to hear something like, "Maybe you should try thinking before speaking. Or just try thinking at all." There are a few moments that I can think of in particular.

For those of you that don't know, Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, and Tim Horton's are actually three different stores, owned by three different companies. I know, your mind was just blown. Well that never stopped people from ordering things like "Tim Bits," while I was at Dunkin. One time I was taking orders over the drive-thru when I had a girl come through. Here was that conversation:

Welcome to Dunkin Donuts, how may I help you today?

Yes, um, can I have a Carmel Frappacinno?

I'm sorry, the Frappuccino is a signature trademark of Starbucks. We don't sell them here. May I interest you in our Carmel Coolata?

But I want a Carmel Frappuccinno!

...I'm sorry, but we do not sell them here.

Can't you just take your blender and make one? It's my friend's Birthday!

No I can't, I'm sorry.

Ugh whatever, you guys are so unhelpful!

Sorry for the inconvenience. 

I actually shorted this conversation quite a bit. There was much more back and forth between us, with me trying to explain that we don't sell Frappuccino's. Now, if social obligation hadn't required me to be nice to this girl, this is how the conversation would have gone:

What do you want?

Yes, um, can I have a Carmel Frappuccinno?

This is Dunkin Donuts. I only tell you this because clearly you can't read, since Dunkin labels literally every available surface with their name on it. Starbucks is the one for that overpriced drink. Do you want our version of an equally overpriced drink?

But I want a Carmel Frappuccinno!

Please leave this store and never converse with me again. I only talk to considerate people with an IQ that is larger than my dogs.

Can't you just take your blender and make one? It's my friend's Birthday!

It doesn't matter if her very life depends on that drink. I can't make your Frap-a-whatever because 1) We don't have a blender here. 2) We don't have the ingredients here. 3) I don't know how to make that drink because, WE DON'T SELL THAT DRINK!

Ugh whatever, you guys are so unhelpful!

It's people like you that really make me worry about society sometimes.

 Check in for more stories about America's finest that don't deserve the respect that I give them.

On my ipod today: "Step Into Christmas" by Elton John. Ahhh I just love Christmas music, and I love this song!!