Grace (or lack there of)

Throughout my life I have managed to make a complete spectacle out of myself at the worst possible moments. You doubt me? I think I'm exaggerating? Well it's true. If I'm trying to impress people that's when I say my, errr less intelligent sounding remarks. Whenever I am aware that people are watching me, I just sort of shut down and forget how to do things like talk or eat, or any other basic skill that should really require no effort. You still need convincing? Here's a great example from when I was in 12th grade:

My English teacher got it in her head that we needed to do some sort of going away project since we were seniors. You could basically do anything as long as it was memorable and represented you. Well me and my friend decided that we would work together on it since neither of us could think of anything to do on our own. The only problem was that we failed to consider the fact that just because we were working together didn't mean that we would suddenly find inspiration as to what to do.

Eventually, and to make sure it was fully established what nerds we were, we decided that we would talk about our friendship through the books that we both enjoyed reading. It was just about the lamest idea for a project you could come up with, but hey, it was something. So we wrote out this whole monologue thing that we were going to read in front of the class, including different quotes from the books we both enjoyed. Jeeze, as I'm writing this out I'm becoming more more fully aware of how dorky we were.

Anyways, I have some slight issues with public speaking. I get incredibly flustered every time I  have to get up in front of people. So at one point I read a quote from Memoirs of a Geisha that said "Nowadays many people seem to believe their lives are entirely a matter of choice; but in my day we viewed ourselves as pieces of clay that forever show the fingerprints of everyone who has touched them." After I read the quote I was supposed to explain how it related back to my friend and me. Unfortunately in my flustered tongue-tied self I managed to say "And just like in the quote, me and ***** touch each other."  Immediately I stopped talking, realizing what I had just said. Dead silence filled the air for a good 10 seconds....

I tried to move on with a pathetic "And ummm yeah, the book..." but it was too late. One of my classmates was turning red, clearly trying to hold her laughter in, but as soon as I tried to speak again she burst out laughing. Soon my entire class was laughing. It wasn't just a slight chuckle. It was tears rolling down the face laughter. Even the teacher. In her defense she was trying really hard not to. Just not hard enough to you know, not laugh. 

My life has been filled with theses moments. Thursday was no different. I had just taken a test with my English professor that afternoon, and later in the day I happened to pass by him once again in front of one of the academic buildings. I was wearing a skirt and heels because I also had to give a presentation in another class that day. So as we started to get closer to each other, he raised his hand to wave at me, smiling away. He may be clearly into his 60s or 70s, but he is more energetic than most 20 year olds I know. He's a pretty awesome guy.

So of course, true to my nature, I got a little too into waving back to him and I forgot to look where I was walking. I stepped on a crack in the sidewalk. Any other day this wouldn't have been an issue, but today I was wearing heels. Needless to say I went from saying hi to my professor, to saying hi to the ground in less than 2 seconds. 

To my complete mortification he came running up to me to help me up. I quickly shot back up like nothing happened and smiled like nothing in the world could have made me happier at that moment than falling straight on my butt. What I wanted to do was just lay on the ground in my own embarrassment and shame, but I don't think that would have helped the situation much. On the bright side, maybe he will give me bonus pity points on my test. At the very least he will always remember me.

For your entertainment: A video!

On my ipod today: "Let's Get It Started" by the Black Eyed Peas. They may not be able to sing live in any way that resembles actual singing, but I cannot deny the catchyness of this song.